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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30123420">Impractical Jackals</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrainEmpty_onlySakusaPecs/pseuds/BrainEmpty_onlySakusaPecs'>BrainEmpty_onlySakusaPecs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Black Jackal - Freeform, Chaotic Good, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, MSBY, Reality TV, Self-Indulgent, This Is STUPID, atsumu is a mess, but so is, sakusa kiyoomi - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:09:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30123420</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrainEmpty_onlySakusaPecs/pseuds/BrainEmpty_onlySakusaPecs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just in: a famous volleyball team just signed a contract with AriB network for a new Reality TV show. Which professional Volleyball team could it be?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Gasps//  A RealiTV show?!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I just finished the first chapter of my college au fic</p><p>/runs/</p><p>I had to write this. But I'm a lazy writer. But this. Thiiiis.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fresh from a hot shower, Atsumu steps into the locker room to his team mates in a huddle at one of the black benches provided for them. Everyone had a serious look on their face, the kind you only get to see at a really good game or when an intense rally happens on court. Atsumu hesitantly approaches them from across the room, "Whatcha guys gossipin' bout?"</p><p> </p><p>Hinata is the first to break from the trance like state they were in, "TSUM-TSUM! LOOK! A V LEAGUE TEAM IS GONNA HAVE THEIR OWN REALITY SHOW! HOW EXCITING IS THAT?!" The ball of sunshine was practically buzzing like an electric toothbrush.</p><p> </p><p>"Really? Which team?" he asks, as he dries his hair with the towel on his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>"We don't know yet. The news didn't say anything about which team it would be." Adriah is the one to answer him.</p><p> </p><p>"They'd be crazy not to pick us!" their libero huffs and Thomas tries to calm him down.</p><p> </p><p>"YOU'RE RIGHT! WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE HOW AWESOME AND COOL I AM EVERYDAY?!" Bokuto beams, jumping up and down behind Meian who looks just as tired as a 60 year old with severe back pains.</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu laughs at the sight. "Yer right Bokkun." Smiling that fox like grin, hands on his hips, "who wouldn't wanna see the daily lives of the greatest team in the V League?"</p><p> </p><p>A series of humms come from his fellow jackals. Then he adds, "and they even get to see this," he motions to his naked self, a towel barely hanging on his hips.</p><p> </p><p>Someone scoffs from the other side of the room. "You don't look anywhere near decent to the public eye, Miya."</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu gasps scandalously, placing his hand on his heart like an old victorian lady clutching her pearls. "OMI!" he strides towards the broad shouldered curly haired wing spiker, hand still on his chest. "If ya wanted me all to yer self, ya could've just said so," resting his back on the locker next to Kiyoomi's ending his dramatic act with a wink.</p><p> </p><p>After glaring and muttering an 'ew', he looks the rest of the jackals, ignoring Atsumu's squawks, "do you really want to though?" Every members' face a different level of confusion. Sighing, Kiyoomi starts again, "Do you really want to be seen on national television, what happens before practice, and no, I do not mean the stretches, before that. Yes, I mean falling flat to the ground because Wan-san covered the entrance with butter. Or when we go out for drinks," visibly wincing, he flatly looks at Meian, "people will get to see how our captain likes to dance on top of tables after losing to Hinata in a drinking competition."</p><p> </p><p>Everyone is quiet, even the sunshine duo. Kiyoomi starts again, "and they'll probably be filming us on our days off in the Jackals complex. Maybe they'll see how Bokuto impossibly sets the sink on fire." He then looks at the man beside him.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly feeling conscious with all the eyes burning holes into him, Atsumu covers his nipples with his hands, heat spreading across his face. He tries to avoid the ravens gaze, fidgeting anxiously in his spot, he feels small next to this giant of a hot man.</p><p> </p><p>"And you," Kiyoomi's features scrunches up in disgust. "the most scandalous member of the team."</p><p> </p><p>"Wha'did I do?!" the setter screeches in disbelief. </p><p> </p><p>And all Kiyoomi does is give him is his signature deadpan look, he raises his brow when Atsumu crosses his arms over his chest and huffs. "You," closing his locker, "started an onigiri fight with your brother on court. You convinced Bokuto he developed the super power of being invisible so he walked to the gym NAKED. You thought it was fun to start a nerf war in the complex and three hours and ten broken windows later, coach scolded us." Kiyoomi holds his pale mole dotted hand up to Atsumu's face, stopping him from whatever it is he's supposed to say. "the world should never see the chaos you do."</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu scoffs and places his hands on his hips, swingin them to the side. He opens his mouth to a well thought of retort like "what I do? Ya mean yer mom?" All those stuff Kiyoomi said were fun and brilliant. The onigiri war was because Samu was being annoying. And what? Bokuto's fun to mess with and he was totally okay with it, even Aka-kun said that already happened in the past twice. The nerf battle was such a good team bonding experience. Kiyoomi cuts him before he could even start. "Would you really want that? In every household in Japan. Probably in the Internet as well. Millions and millions of people to watch, not only our fans but others as well?"</p><p> </p><p>The jackals seem to contemplate their least talkative team mate's speech. All in different aspects of reflection and thought. Then slowly, they all shook their head. Some grunts a series of nopes and nos.</p><p> </p><p>The jackals wakes from their daze when the locker room door swings open, revealing their PR manager and coach Foster, both with wide smiles on their faces. "Jackals, you're having your own reality show!" </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A sneak peak</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A small very short peak of the Jackals' lives</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ignore the timeline. I just want this in 2021 for my convenience. Please let me be, I am fragile /sobs/</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p><em><strong>WHAT?!</strong></em> (Black Jackals, 2021).</p><p> </p><p>Chieko, their PR manager starts to think he should have done this sooner, watching Inunaki choke on his waterbottle after spit taking on Meian's face. Their owl-like spiker slipping on the water their libero spout up, causing him to slide towards two of their team mates. Bokuto, before crashing down and meeting the white marbled floors of the Jackals locker room, tries to save himself from the inevitable fall. He grabs hold of the nearest thing to him, blindly clinging onto something, anything, he crashes. Hard and unforgiving. Yet there's still something in his fist, a soft and warm material. Peculiar—he thinks. Akaashi would be proud of him for using peculiar today! That word of the day dictionary Kuroo got him is put into good use! </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kiyoomi whips his head around, facing the wall in lightning speed. He's sure the tips of his ears are as red as cherries or something that matches the scarlet on Atsumu' features. <em>Shit. </em>He wasn't wearing his mask so his blu-no. Slight symptoms for a fever would be seen by everyone in the room. Specially by the blonde setter that Bokuto took the liberty of taking his towel off, dragging it down to his own doom. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Atsumu's head is mush. He's in the Jackals locker room. With his members, coach, pr manager and next to him is the SAKUSA KIYOOMI. And he is graciously undressed by Bokuto when he decided to plummet to the floor. Well it's good he's facing Kiyoomi so Chieko-chan wouldn't see his dick. But HE'S FACING SAKUSA KIYOOMI FOR FUCKS SAKE! A small humourless smile twitches on his lips, this would be so damn funny if it wasn't me and if I wasn't a few inches away from my crush. He laughs loudly, everyone else in their own mess of a mind. He laughs then screeches like a banshee, dashing like that mad dog that chased after him in grade school,  to the showers. The showers where he prays has an extra towel. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chieko watches the panic in the features and reactions of the Jackals. Chieko, what was that her parents said? It's a name that means a thousand blessings? After signing the contract to be the Jackal's PR manager, her dream job, working with the best team in the V league, its her dream come true. Its a nightmare. Week after week she deals with their mess in public, in social media, everywhere they go it's chaos. It's not black cats that bring bad luck, that's for sure. She has to come up with explanations and write public apologies for the members of the Jackals. Their recent most troublesome adventure was their trip to IKEA. That took her five cups of coffee and three advils. She loves the Jackals, very much. It's just instead of a thousand blessings, they bring her a thousand migraines. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's her time to sit back and relax. With this show, the Jackals have to explain for themselves. She just have to keep their social media in check and that's it. They could fuck up all they want and she just has to watch. Even Coach Foster told her so. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Watching the the strongest V league team burst into this state surely brings a smile to her face. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After their PR manager and Coach Foster explained the details of the contract, everyone headed back to the complex to "sort their business". </p><p> </p><p>Meian was cleaning the shared lounge area with Barnes vacuuming the floors. Hinata was organising the boxes of sunscreen in his room from when he stayed in rio. Atsumu was cooking dinner for the team in the shared kitchen, a heavenly scent in the air, causing everyone's stomach protest. Kiyoomi is in charge of watching and forcing Bokuto to clean, keeping him away from the kitchen as far as possible. Inunaki and Thomas were fixing the leaky pipe at the shared bath. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After their chores, everyone settled in the shared lounge, a horror movie in play. Digging into their own bowls of curry rice, courtesy of Chef Atsumu. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not even half way into the movie, Bokuto threw his bowl in the air, empty of course. Hinata flew at the back of the couch while Shion and Thomas hugged each other while screaming at the top of their lungs. On the left, Atsumu threw himself on Kiyoomi's lap looking like a spooked baby goat.</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Meian stands up to gather Bokuto's bowl. Thinking to himself, <em>is this what they want us to broadcast on TV?</em></p><p> </p><p>On his way to the kitchen, he throws another look at his team mates, all in comfortable clothing, worn out ragged shirts, old too-big sweatpants. Even Bokuto's hair isn't gelled to his owl like horns. Kiyoomi with his cotton headband pushing his hair off his face, Atsumu still on his lap trembling like a small puppy in—isn't that Kiyoomi's shirt? He sees Thomas rubbing circles on Shion's back, while Barnes hugged the elmo plushy to his chest, most probably suffocating the poor thing. Meian smiles to himself. This side of the Jackals isn't too bad. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. OMI DAY</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's OMI DAY</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IT'S OMI DAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOML AAAAHHHHHH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The yellow golden light peaks through Kiyoomi's blinds. He shifts on his bed, burying his face deeper into the softness of his pillow. He stuffs his feet under the wool knit blanket his mom gave him when he signed up for the Jackals. The air is a little chilly in the complex, with the ac cranked up. He'd rather stay cold on his bed than get up and fuss over it. Not thinking about any of the events for today, he falls into the thin line between consciousness and dream land. Dark onyx orbs fluttering under sleep infused lids, thin pink lips parted, he crossed the twilight zone.</p><p> </p><p>Hours later, he wakes up to a loud clank from outside, as if pans or heavy equipment is being moved around. Sighing, he throws a hoodie over his head and goes out of his room. "Miya?" he calls out into the empty hallway. "Bokuto?" he calls to the other side of the empty hallway. "Shoyo? Wan-san?" standing in the lounge area, surveying the empty area. "Meian-san? Guys?" he calls out into the kitchen. Everything seems fine. No traces of breaking in nor signs of resistance. There's no dust, something from their general cleaning the day before. The remote sits on the cream colored coffee table Osamu gave them last summer, the throw pillows on the couch in their usual position, even Barnes' elmo plush rests on its usual spot on the black leather couch.</p><p> </p><p>He treks back to the door next to his. Bring his knuckles up, knocking twice, "Miya?" thrice. "Miya?" He whips his head around, something crawls on his skin. He feels like someone or something's watching him. He looks from left to right, <em>that's strange. </em>Everyone usually stays at the complex on their days off. He knocks on the other doors, still no response.</p><p> </p><p>When his stomach makes its hunger apparent through a loud grumbling complaint, he goes back to the kitchen. He opens the fridge instead of taking out pans to cook because yer a shit cook Omi-omi! Ya don't cook egg like that! No—ya crack it <em>then </em>ya cook it!</p><p> </p><p>The first thing he sees is a yellow note with loopy hand writing, one he knows is Atsumu's. With scribbles and doodles of hearts and foxes. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>Omi-omi! Ya must be starvin. There's some OMIlette and OMIboshi OMIgiri under the food cover on the table. Enjoy!</em> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>Ps. Didja like the food puns?</em> </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>-x♡x♡</em> </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Why was atsumu so embarrassing? Yet a small smile crawls on Kiyoomi's lips. Sending a quick message to Atsumu of "where are you?" He takes a bottle of water from the fridge and sits at the table. When he opens the food cover, there lies three umeboshi onigiris and an omelette, just like the note stated. And it's still warm. He takes a bite of the onigiri, and pops some of the omelette in his mouth. The egg melts perfectly, highlighting the sourness and unique texture of the plums. He savours the explosion of flavours on his taste buds, as he finishes his food. He notices another yellow note slightly peeking from under the ceramic plate his onigiris were on.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>Hey Omi-omi couldja take care of the laundry? They're in the washer. I think I saw Hinata throw yer white hoodie in there. Thanks Omi!</em> </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>X♡X♡</em> </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was the same loopy hand writing and doodles all over the note. It was nice yes. But Hinata did the laundry this week. And he's known for accidentally putting in one of his socks at the same time. And boy was that white hoodie on of his favourite ones and no it's not because he and Atsumu bought that together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He sprints to the final resting place of his once white hoodie. Its terrible. But its okay, its fine, he tell himself. I can pull off a pink hoodie, it's still good.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He kneels down, opening the washer. However there was no hoodie in sight. It's all but empty, except for another note. This one was different from the others though as this is orange in color and the writing are a little round in the corners.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span class="u">Omi-san!</span> <span class="u">Your laundry is in your room now!</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <strike> <strong>HEY HEY HEY</strong> <strong>t</strong> </strike>
</p><p> </p><p>D<span class="u">ont mind Bokuto-San, OMI-San! We told him no to touch your stuff!</span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What is up with these notes? And where is everyone? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He sighs, resigned. Heading back to his room, he finds the hoodie on top of his desk, funny how he didn't see that earlier. He takes the hoodie and assess it then brings it up his nose, taking a whif of the detergent Hinata used. Instead of the lemony lavender scent, he smells Atsumu's scent. He looks around before nuzzling his face into the soft fabric. Something makes a scrunching sound in the hoodie. He slips his hand inside its pockets and there, another note.</p><p> </p><p>This one's yellow and covered in fox scribbles again. Kiyoomi smiles softly at the piece of paper in his hands. Then frowns at the words written in black ink. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">Closet</span> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">-X♡</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frowning deeper, he walks towards his closet. What is this? Some kind of prank? He swear, if any of those idiots are inside his closet, he'd be spraying them with lysol. </p><p> </p><p>Instead of a six foot volleyball athlete, there a golden silk button down dress shirt and dress pants, ironed as flat to the most minimal details as possible. He traces his fingers on the dress shirt, soft to his touch. Then he slides his fingers to the black dress pants, he notices a small box in its left pocket. Taking out the carefully golden wrapped box, he picked it up and turned it over in his hands, letting his eyes roam freely over every patch of tape and fold so lovingly made. He raised his eyes to the plush bear in his bed, who had that look in its eye, something like smugness in its usual grin. Sitting on the bed, he feels the mattress dip below his weight. He opens the box, he looks at the silver keys in confusion and awe. Under it is another piece of yellow paper, this one with owls and foxes, dogs and crows too. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sakusa-kun, we're meeting some sponsors today. Dress well and meet us in the gym. </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>-<strong>Meian</strong></p><p>'<span class="u"><em>m gonna look better than ya Omi~</em></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Strange, nothing about any of these adds up. If they were meeting sponsors, Chieko-chan would've informed them. There's also the fact that Coach Foster didn't mention any events or meetings. When it comes to attending sponsor meetings, Atsumu would always annoy him into going together. Everything about today is highly suspicious. </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Standing in front of the Jackals Gym feels different for some reason. He still feels as if there are eyes on him everywhere. Even in his own car, and the same irksome feeling magnified and intensified now. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The silver key in his pocket seems to be heavier as every second passes. He fiddles with it for a moment, toying it around his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>His heart suddenly feels a little frantic, a sinking feeling in his stomach, something inside him flips. He hears distorted hushed conversations from inside, he takes a deep breath and puts the key in the lock, he slowly turns the knob. Everything is dark, was he getting murdered? Pranked? He's going to kill Atsumu for this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The gym comes to life, the same blinding lights he looks up to when playing volleyball illuminates the whole place. And he sees everything. He sees everyone. Hinata, Bokuto, Akaashi-san, the Jackals, Komori, everyone's dressed nicely. But...</p><p> </p><p>"Omi-omi"</p><p> </p><p>He turns around and sees Miya Atsumu with the fondest look on his face, his honey colored eyes shining, crinkled in the corners. The way his lips have his real genuine smile, the one reserved for staying in for movies, playing with cats, petting the dogs they meet on morning runs. </p><p> </p><p>"Happy birthday Omi-kun" and he smiles even brighter, the candles on the strawberry shortcake in his hands light up his face, cast shadows in the right places, framing his face and there's a dust of pink on his cheeks. And it's beautiful.</p><p> </p><p>Kiyoomi returns the smile with his crooked own. "Thank you, I-" he looks at the people around him, "I don't know what to say..."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Just blow the candles!" Komori shouts from the crowd. "let's get this party started!" </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He lowers his head and blows out the candles. A series of cheers and whoops echo in the gym, a birthday pop song booms in the background. He looks back at Atsumu, and mumbles another "thank you."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bonus//</p><p>S: So.. You planned everything?<br/>A: No I didn't!<br/>S: why didn't anyone tell me the Reality show started today? I thought I was being watched.<br/>A: it's part of the plan, duh~<br/>S: so you did plan<br/>A:.....</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Producer: do you want to see the behind the scenes shoot of your birthday party Sakusa-san?<br/>S:... Okay</p><p> </p><p>//a video of atsumu screaming and running around, cut, Atsumu tying Bokuto on a chair, "Shoyo-kun nOO" then he dashes past the camera and tips the camera man, it falls towards atsumu pulling hinata down a ladder, cut//</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Just in: Jackals confirm reality show?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bokuto Kotaro, sporting the number 12 on the Division 1 team in Japan's V-League. A reliable spiker on court, ferocious with every attack, the resounding smack of the ball on the opponent's court is thick in his mouth, slightly sweet, and making him more ravenous every time.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ok so this is a short update just bcoz I just feel like it. I'm already working on the next chapter though. This is really fun to write. I watched a lot of vids and memes of the cast of the avengers cast. Thus this chapter. I promise to work harder on the next update.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Bokuto Kotaro, sporting the number 12 on the Division 1 team in Japan's V-League. A reliable spiker on court, ferocious with every attack, the resounding smack of the ball on the opponent's court is thick in his mouth, slightly sweet, and making him more ravenous every time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even on court, he is known for his wide range of emotions. However the tendencies of an emotional rollercoaster on court is mellowed downed through the years, also with the help of his lovely manga-editor fiancé. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And there is another thing about Bokuto Koutaro. Besides being boisterous everywhere he goes, speaking at a decibel louder than necessary, never capable of using his indoor voice...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The man can't keep secrets. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He's got quite the track record for it. Apparently, the owl  is also a canary. Bokuto was the snitch that told coach Foster about the nerf gun incident, which got them twenty laps around the gym as punishment the next practice. He told Hinata about the spare key to the gym under the mat of the back room even when Meian specifically hid it to prevent the human form of a border collie to have late night trips to the gym. Koutaro even announced to the group chat consisting all the professional volleyball players in Japan, the plan the jackals devised for weeks for Atsumu's surprise birthday party. Surprise, Atsumu was in the chat. And was even tagged in the message Bokuto sent.</p><p> </p><p>Bokuto being Bokuto, self destruct on his instagram live when he was shopping for Akaashi's ring. Making a poll on his story to decide which ring he should buy. After a few weeks of being engaged, Keiji tells him that he already knew Koutaro was planning on proposing, having been notified of his instagram live, being tagged to the screenshots of it. The raven editor even found the receipt in their sock drawer and later found a velvet box in the same one. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He's terrible at keeping secrets, even his own. That and he's terrible at lying.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That is why, he is situated between Kiyoomi, Atsumu and Hinata at the lemon fresh couch of the Entertainment daily set, sweating buckets with his legs bouncing up and down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The floor director gives the cue and the 'On air' sign comes to life, a constant bright red, illuminating above the cameras. The woman, maybe a few years older than them, smiles and greets the cameras. "Good day to sports fans out there, I am Hirai Akira, I am your host for today and this is Entertainment Daily, where the latest happenings and interviews of the hottest personalities are served on a piping hot platter." She leans in her seat facing the camera and winks. Facing the second camera, "we are here today with the monster generation of the MSBY Black Jackals."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I'm ninja Hinata Shoyo. Opposite hitter." the camera zooms into Hinata's face, the tangerine beaming his brightest smile.</p><p> </p><p>The camera shifts to Bokuto, displaying his pearly whites, "I'M BOKUTO KOUTARO! I PLAY OUTSIDE HITTER! HI KEIJI!" he waves enthusiastically to the camera before it turns to the blonde setter.</p><p> </p><p>With hooded eyes and his usual smirk for the cameras and fans, Atsumu looks directly at the camera pointing at him. "Miya Atsumu, setter." then proceeds to wink. Kiyoomi beside him looks at him with pinched brows, looking like he licked a lemon.</p><p> </p><p>The camera turns to Kiyoomi, his usual resting bitch face in place. "Sakusa Kiyoomi. Outside hitter."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The camera unzooms, the four of them in full view. "And we are the Black Jackals." They do the jackal's pose, Atsumu sticking his tongue out, Kiyoomi and his own level of enthusiams  (not very), Koutaro grinning wide, baring his fangs, Shoyo smiling wide, his eyes forming cresents.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The interview went on, mostly about their preparations for this season. They talk about their vigorous training regimen and expectations of the new season. As the interview nears its end, Hirai-san adjusts in her seat, leaning towards the players. "So there's talk about a Volleyball team starring in their own reality show, is MSBY perhaps that V1 team?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hinata and Kiyoomi share a look while Atsumu scoots closer to Bokuto. The dual toned hair spiker starts to fidget in his seat, the reporter seems to notice this, "Bokuto-san?" </p><p> </p><p>Kiyoomi clears his throat and the camera turns to him. "I'll answer that," he says in a flat tone. </p><p> </p><p>The host, clearly surprised with this, encourages Kiyoomi to elaborate. "Was I right Sakusa-san?"</p><p> </p><p>"We were given by our team the green light to confirm that, yes, the MSBY Black Jackals signed with AriB network for a reality show. However we are inclined to not disclose any information about the show, including the name, the events that unfold and everything else." The raven says, folding his harms across his chest, his face unreadable.</p><p> </p><p>The host smiles and nods at that, "Oh I see," she looks at the other jackals, "then can we at least get uhm, your views on having a reality show of your lives as professional volleball players?" she sees Koutaro shifting in his seat. "Bokuto-san are you okay?"</p><p> </p><p>Koutaro tenses, his shoulders rise up, his leg starts to bounce up and down once again, palms start to sweat cold. "Uhm.." shooting a glance to Kiyoomi beside Atsumu then to his left, Hinata. "To be honest, this is live so I'm very stressed right now. I feel like I'm about to say that—"</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu brings his hand to his spiker's mouth, stopping him mid sentence. "See this is why we're here."</p><p> </p><p>Hirai tries to press a little more. "What is this about Miya-san?"</p><p> </p><p>Shoyo is the one to answer. "Oh! Bokuto-san has the tendency to leak confidential information!"</p><p> </p><p>"So someone has to keep an eye on him." Kiyoomi speaks up from the other end of the couch.</p><p> </p><p>Bokuto laughs belly deep and full of warmth. "I wouldn't want to spoil it for the fans!" the points finger guns to the camera, his signature Bokuto beams.</p><p> </p><p>"Well that's truly something worth looking forward to!" the host says to the camera. "Did they let you in on anything Bokuto-san?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I do know what its not." he pauses for a bit, side eyeing Kiyoomi, when he doesn't receive a glare, he continues. "On the contrary, I'm possibly, more or less definitely reflecting the idea." he ends a little shaky and swallows the lump in his throat.</p><p> </p><p>From beside the blonde setter, Kiyoomi smirks for a second, feeling satisfied with his so-Jackal's statement. Atsumu, however laughs at this and pats Bokuto's back. Hinata looks like a heavy weight is lifted off his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>Nodding a bit confused, "That's it folks," Hirai says to the camera, "once again the Black Jackals."</p><p> </p><p>The four bid their farewell to the camera and it was a wrap.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>In the Jackal's complex, the four arrive to see cameras set up in almost every corner. one at the entrance, another behind the plant beside the TV, another one on the kitchen counter, a few in the hallway and more, they probably didn't know.</p><p> </p><p>"There's another one here!" Hinata screams from under the the modern fireplace.</p><p> </p><p>Upon opening the cabinets in the Kitchen, Atsumu shrieks. " Oh my god, Omi, oh my-there's one here too!"</p><p> </p><p>"OH NO! THE BATHROOM!" Bokuto sprints down the hallway to the farthest door, swinging it open. "THERE"S NONE IN HERE!" </p><p> </p><p>Kiyoomi looks to his left, where a camera is, eyes squinting looking like "this is the crazy shit I deal with everyday".</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The internet breaks that night, the jackals trending <em>again.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>BONUS//</p><p>-before the interview-</p><p>Kiyoomi: How do I- I can't, I can't do this</p><p>Keiji: How could I be of help?</p><p>Kiyoomi after shrieking: Akaashi-san, how did you know?</p><p>Keiji: I had a feeling I was needed here. Are we teaching Koutaro how to not leak the info of your Reality show?</p><p>Kiyoomi looking at Bokuto: Seriously?</p><p>Bokuto: I had to tell Keiji!<br/>________________________________________________________________________________________________</p><p>-much later after the interview airs-</p><p>Keiji: I see iour training with Kou worked</p><p>Kiyoomi: Yes, now uhm..</p><p>Keiji: What is it Sakusa-san?</p><p>Kiyoomi: Do you think we can train Atsumu?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>OH PLEASE this is messy ik, but i love them so here i go and school work resumes this monday so I'm just dead. I promise to do better on the next one! aaaahhhhhh comments and kudos please? For me? (つ≧▽≦)つ</p><p> </p><p>SCREAM WITH ME ON <a href="https://twitter.com/Aribsiel">Twitter</a></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alsooooo check out my other on going college Au! <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30122544/chapters/74199870">Dancing on Tabletops</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Episode 1: Switching it up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Woah? A CHALLENGE? WHAT KIND OF CHALLENGE?!" Koutaro beams wrinkling his white dress shirt, not knowing he nearly puts the editors into momentary deafness.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so I was dying to write something like this. But I wanted to update Dancing on Tabletops first. This whole fic is purely self-indulgent. Also, I've broken down this chapter into two parts. I'm tellin ya, I love this soooo much. Idk why you're reading this but go off ig. Anyways ily guys so much</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The camera pans out, the blinding white lights bounce off the wood floors of the Jackals gym, a famous pop song plays in the background, upbeat and fresh. Scenes and cuts from previous games flash, shots of each member at the best of their game play and shots off court with their names and position. It fades to a black backdrop with three gold claw marks, resembling the Jackal's uniform. The screen shows all the members of the jackals, in semi-formal and semi casual clothing. </p><p> </p><p>The bottom of the screen flashes MSBY Black Jackals, Division 1 V League Team.</p><p> </p><p>Behind the cameras, the producer speaks, "In celebration of the successful pilot episode, featuring Kiyoomi-san's birthday. Would you like to take on a challenge for the first episode of The Impractical Jackals?"</p><p> </p><p>"Woah? A CHALLENGE? WHAT KIND OF CHALLENGE?!" Koutaro beams wrinkling his white dress shirt, not knowing he nearly puts the editors into momentary deafness.</p><p> </p><p>"Of course we accept! We never back out at anything!" their setter says, full of pride.</p><p> </p><p>"We don't even know what the challenge is yet." Kiyoomi says, his face blank but his eyebrows slightly furrowed.</p><p> </p><p>"Is it a Tiktok dance challenge?! I can get to show off the skills I learned in Brazil!" Hinata holds his fists in the air. </p><p> </p><p>"The whole world already knows you're a great dancer Shoyo," Inunaki says from behind him. "remember our drunken IG stories?"</p><p> </p><p>"Then can I show mine off? The last person I dated was an exotic dancer." everyone stops and stares at Barnes, even the production crew. "They taught me a few moves."</p><p> </p><p>Meian opens and closes his mouth, not sure what to say. He settles with a "What?"</p><p> </p><p>The camera zooms to Barnes who just shrugs for a response. The producer clears her throat and goes back to the topic. "The challenge is some kind of roleplaying"</p><p> </p><p>"That's kinky shit." Inunaki laughs, getting a stern look from their captain.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, can I be Sailor Moon?" Hinata asks, tilting his head towards the camera.</p><p> </p><p>The producer cuts in again before they stray off topic. "Not that kind of roleplay, Hinata-san." The camera, in medium shot, captures how the Jackals' face morph into confusion and curiosity. "Our team and your coach and PR manager talked about it and we'd like to test how well the members know each other. So we thought of doing a personality swap of some sort. The most convincing jackal gets a reward."</p><p> </p><p>All eight jackals seem to be lost in their own thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>"So you want us to act like each other? For how long?" Thomas asks.</p><p> </p><p>"Each of you will be assigned to a Jackal. And you get to be them for a whole day. Which is tomorrow, you'll have the rest of the day to prepare for it. It officially starts when at practice, which starts at 7. And ends exactly at midnight. We won't be following you back at the complex but there will be cameras installed all around, so we can monitor you." </p><p> </p><p>"How are we to know which member is assigned to us?" Kiyoomi finally speaks up after bantering with Atsumu. He fiddles with the loose thread of his sweater sleeve.</p><p> </p><p>"We prepared a box with your names and each member gets to draw one Jackal." one of the staff hands the producer a black box, the camera zooms in on it. </p><p> </p><p>"What are the criteria for this?" Kiyoomi inquires, his face unreadable. But nothing gets past a cheeky blonde setter.</p><p> </p><p>"So critical Omi-kun~" he teases.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, you only need to focus on three things. Their looks, actions and personality. However, you'll get disqualified for the prize if you break character, but you are still required to finish the day as your teammate." shaking the box, a small rustling and tumbling of paper rolls could be heard. "Do you accept?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, Jackals?" Meian looks at his team. </p><p> </p><p>They unanimously chant "YUS!"</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Meian is the first to draw a name. He goes to the producer and puts his hand in the box. He unfolds the paper slowly, making sure the other Jackals are looking from behind him. He sees the fine print and closes the paper again. He sighs, "Really? I'll break my back after this. I'll be retiring earlier than I thought." he sighs tiredly like a mother of 7 children.</p><p> </p><p>The producer nods and tilts her head. Meian flips the paper revealing the person he'll impersonate.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Hinata Shoyo.</strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Barnes is next to draw. He smiles at the producer and puts his hand inside the box, tossing the paper around. After a few mixing, he takes a white slip of paper. He looks at the paper then at the camera to the producer. "Can I go again? I don't think I can do this." he says, scratching the back of his neck, he smiles awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p>He shows the camera the name printed on the paper.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Bokuto Koutaro.</strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Thomas walks up to the box, he quickly draws a paper and opens it meticulously. He smiles widely and enthusiastically shows the crew his paper. </p><p> </p><p>"Wow Adriah-san! So far, your reaction was the most positive one." the producer comments.</p><p> </p><p>"Wait til its Bokkun and Shoyo's turn." he says, tucking the paper in his pockets.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Oliver Barnes.</strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Inunaki tosses the contents of the box, feeling the last few pieces of paper. He grabs hold of one and takes it out the box. He turns around to look at the Jackals, and triumphally holds the folded paper in the air. "This is going to make me win!" he claims.</p><p> </p><p>He turns back to the producer and cameras. Inunaki unrolls the paper and shows it to the camera, he coughs, covering his face and the coloring of his cheek. "I'm winning this." he affirms to the camera.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Adriah Thomas.</strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Bouncing towards the producer, Hinata greets the cameras and staff with his biggest smile. "Who will I be in tomorrow! Gwah! This is going to be so fun like Zuuum and kapow and whoooop!"</p><p> </p><p>The crew can only laugh at how adorable the orange head is.</p><p> </p><p>"No way!" he exclaims.</p><p> </p><p>"What?!" one of the jackals scream from behind him, probably Atsumu.</p><p> </p><p>Hinata fails to contain his smile, he shows the paper to the cameras.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Inunaki Shion.</strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Bokuto sends his Bokuto beams to the cameras as he walks to the box. "HEY HEY HEY! WHO WILL I BE?!" he puts his hand in the box and takes a paper out. He's practically vibrating in place as he unfolds the paper and reads the content.</p><p> </p><p>He shows the camera. "I'm awesome at this! Oh wait, DO I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HAIR?!" </p><p> </p><p>The producer nods in response. "You can do what you want Bokuto-san. Better if you do so."</p><p> </p><p>"BUT MY AWESOME HAIR!" </p><p> </p><p>Someone drags him back to his chair with the other Jackals, apologising to the staff after that. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Meian Shugo.</strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Atsumu bounds to the staff after trying to console Bokuto. Telling him he'd look cooler if he could rock any hairstyle. "So I get to be this person tomorrow? Lucky them." Atsumu smirks at the camera, grabbing a paper from the box.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm gonna be a star, oh I'm gonna be a star~" he singsongs playfully as he unfolds the paper.</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu freezes for a split second and laughs and laughs loudly. "Oh 's gonna be good." he looks at the camera with a devilishly evil smirk. "Oh 'm gonna beat ya at this Omi-kun!" he yells at the curly haired wing spiker, shining him a feral grin.</p><p> </p><p>He flips the paper around.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sakusa Kiyoomi.</strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kiyoomi, the last one to draw, picks the last paper out of the box. "I have a bad feeling about this." he tells the camera. </p><p> </p><p>He takes a deep breath, prolonging the inevitable. He opens the folded paper. He folds it back and looks at the producer, his face unreadable.  The spiker unfolds the paper again then he directs his deadpan stare at the crew then the camera. He turns the paper in his hand, hoping it changes to something else, anyone else at this point. "Really?" he sigh. "Him? Seven other members and this?" he furrows his brows and takes another deep breath. "Can't we draw again?" He unfolds the paper again and shows the cameras.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry Sakusa-san, that's the last one. And you can't exchange with the other members, it has to be a secret." the producer apologetically explains to him, sensing his distress.</p><p> </p><p>Then someone from behind him yells, "Ya think ya can't handle it Omi-omi~?" Atsumu coos in a singsong voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Better get comfortable sitting at the bench Miya, after I put you in your place when I win this thing." Kiyoomi says, turning on his heel, coming face to face with his setter.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Miya Atsumu.</strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Thank you and good luck to everyone. You may now have the rest of the day to prepare for tomorrow. Our staff will be giving you new jerseys for tomorrows event." she nods to the other crew with paper bags in their arms. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soon after, the Jackals separated, heading to their perspective vehicles. Others were quick to leave the parking lot, probably to go shopping for the event ahead of them. But one car hasn't left the parking lot yet. </p><p> </p><p>With a shaky hand, he reaches the paper bag at the backseat, he unwraps the bag and a black ang gold jersey is inside. Nothing really different from the one he usually wears, except for the number and letters that spell out <strong><em>MIYA, 13. </em></strong></p><p> </p><p>Kiyoomi covers his face with the jersey and screams for ten minutes at the parking lot of the Black Jackal's gym.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bonus//</p><p>Later that day, Kiyoomi finds himself at the hair products aisle, looking at hair dye. He tightens his hold of the small bag of his newly bought colored contact lenses.</p><p> </p><p>If he's doing this, might as well go all the way.</p><p>He's not one to do anything half-assed.</p><p>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.</p><p>YES IT IS WHAT YOU THINK IT IS</p><p> </p><p>SCREAM WITH ME ON <a href="https://twitter.com/Aribsiel">Twitter</a></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alsooooo check out my other on going college Au! <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30122544/chapters/74199870">Dancing on Tabletops</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. sWAP (Part one)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hinata shrugs, then in a louder voice, "Something about you today makes you look hotter than usual."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You have no idea how much screaming was done for this fic. I could not stop imagining how every Jackal would look. My mom caught me smiling silly as I wash the dishes because fucking hell, a blonde Kiyoomi would send me straight to heaven. I had so much fun writing this. I love this chapter, I didn't think I could write this but I somehow managed. Ok I'll stop here, enjoy reading!!!</p><p>-Also, yaaaay! We reached a hundred Kudos! I love you guys so much!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tuesday, April 14. </p><p>Location: MSBY Black Jackals gym, Osaka, Japan</p><p>Time: 6:27</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu arrives first because God <em>forbid</em> Sakusa come to practice any later than 6:30. That's an hour earlier than his usual arriving time to practice. He takes a deep breath, he adjusts the surgical mask covering his nose and mouth, stuffing his hands deeper in his pockets. He cracks the door open with his foot, sticking his head in, he says, "You'd better have all gotten your flu shots." not a single trace of his Kansai ben. And true to what the producer said, the cameras were all set up, as he enters the gym, he notices a small portion of the gym is set up with the black and gold backdrop from yesterday. Everyone's attention is on him. Each reaction was different, from surprise to shock, to awe and he sees their PR manager who just looks proud.</p><p>He walks in complete Sakusa Kiyoomi cosplay. He spent the entire afternoon yesterday to get his hair to this color and woke up at the ass-crack of dawn just to get his hair to curl the way it is now. Making sure he looked nothing like Osamu with his black hair and to his surprise, he did look insanely good and he didn't look exactly like Osamu nor did he look anything close. He even called Rin to ask for  eyeliner recommendations, he drew two dots just above his right brow. And he even added a pair of onyx colored contacts to pull the whole look off. And most importantly, the number 15 jersey folded neatly inside his bag.</p><p> </p><p>Get-up, check.</p><p> </p><p>"Good morning Sakusa-san." the producer greets him. He mumbles a quick good morning in reply.</p><p> </p><p>Personality, check.</p><p> </p><p>He nods at the staff in greeting as he walks past them. Finally, he gets to the locker room where he places his belongings, fixes the contents of his locker and takes a pack of wetwipes out of his bag and wipes his locker down. Taking another ply, he starts wiping his hands clean when the locker room door swings open. Bokuto enters the room calmly. No shouting, no bouncing, no bone-crushing hug. No black and white dual tone hair spiked like an owl. His hair is all black and is slicked back in one direction. Even his eyebrows are dyed. Or is that make-up? Whatever it is, Bokuto looks <em>hot.</em> Atsumu isn't blind. He knows everyone in the team looks model worthy which is why they do get modelling contracts with known brands. And boy, was the world not ready for a brown eyed full dark haired Bokuto Koutaro. The wing spiker walks to his locker, one across Atsumu's. "Good morning." Koutaro greets him, his back no facing Atsumu. Meian, 4. </p><p> </p><p>Atsumu grunts, acknowledging the greeting. Soon after, the doors open again. This time its Thomas who arrives with...</p><p> </p><p>...Half of a bald cap, making his hairline move a little further back. </p><p> </p><p>Atsumu looks at Koutaro who presses his lips in a thin line. Their "captain" for the day clears his throat and greets who they are 100% sure is Barnes for the day. </p><p> </p><p>Thomas smiles at them and greets them in return. Both of them watch as Thomas opens his locker and pulls out a red towel from his bag and put it in his locker. Then he proceeds to bring his practice clothes out, then a small red plush. Atsumu bites his lips, forcing his laughter to die inside. He shoot Koutaro a look who mirrors his expression. They both look away and stick their heads back into their lockers. </p><p> </p><p>Not a minute later, Meian comes through the doors with oranges fluffed up hair. "GWAH! Did you guys see the cameras outside?!" he says, still looking through the doors, pointing his index finger outwards. "That's so awesome!" he says in a slightly high pitched voice. He turns around, and is faced with Koutaro. They look at each other for what seems to be hours. </p><p>By the time they break off their distant world, Atsumu is done getting ready for practice. </p><p> </p><p>Meian starts laughing and greets Koutaro, "Good morning Meian-san! Omi-san! Oliver-san!" then bounces towards his locker.</p><p> </p><p>Thomas greets him back with a soft smile on his face while Atsumu grunts in reply.</p><p> </p><p>Koutaro indulges him with one of Meian's notable lines. "Hurry up, we'll start with the stretches." Meian giggles and says <em>yessir! </em>with a salute.</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu swears he saw Meian's eye twitch. And the way he giggled in a high pitched tone was really... how does one put it nicely? <strike>Weird as fuck</strike> Peculiar. </p><p> </p><p>The three make their way through the door, Koutaro leads the way and opens the door while Atsumu trails behind Thomas. They were immediately faced with Hinata and Inunaki. Inunaki had his hair colored black parted at the side with bangs cut unevenly, looking similarly to the light brown haired setter Atsumu saw in high school. He's from Shiratorizawa, right? He also put eyeliner on, making his eyes look bigger.</p><p> </p><p>And Hinata has his arm linked with Inunaki's left. Hinata had light grey-ish brown hair with bangs and sparkly hazel eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh Meian-san! You look good today!" Hinata says, tilting his voice, mimicking the one Inunaki uses when he teases the team. And boy was that spot on.</p><p> </p><p>Koutaro smiles shyly and brings his hand up to the back of his neck, "Don't you think I look good everyday?" he asks, side-eying Meian inside the locker room.</p><p> </p><p>Hinata shrugs, then in a louder voice, "Something about you today makes you look hotter than usual."</p><p> </p><p>"You look great everyday Meian-san!" Meian beams to Bokuto from inside the room.</p><p> </p><p>Hinata snickers at that, Inunaki shushes him from beside, licking his lips to stop himself from bursting into laughter. "We'll get ready for practice." Then he pushes Hinata through the doors and into the locker room.</p><p> </p><p>Meian joins them as they do their stretches. Atsumu leaves a few meters between him and the rest of his team mates, doing Kiyoomi's stretches, ones he told Atsumu he learned from college. He sits on the floor and reaches forward, extending his body further. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath when the Gym door busts open.</p><p> </p><p>"HEY HEY HEY!"</p><p> </p><p>"Bokkun!" Meian jumps from his position and runs towards Barnes, jumping onto him, hugging him like a koala, nearly toppling the dual toned wig off Barnes' head. What was impressive was that not only did he wear bright gold contacts and crushed Meian with a hug similar to Bokuto's own, but he also got one of Bokuto's morning dialogues down.</p><p> </p><p>"Shoyo! Did you know I'm making Akaashi this owl sweater?!" Barnes smiles widely at Meian, who in return nods his head with much enthusiasm and vigor. </p><p> </p><p>"That's so cool Bokkun! And yeah! You've mentioned it yesterday! And the day before and the day before that and the day before that day too!" he says, slowly turning now looking the real Bokuto Koutaro in the eyes. "Right guys?" tilting his head, their captain not breaking any eye contact with Koutaro.</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu watches Bokuto nod slowly, from a few spaces beside him.</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu goes back to his stretches. His mind wandering off as he brushes inky black curls off his face, he wonders about a certain wing spiker. He thinks of the number of times Sakusa had to tuck his hair behind his ear and every time he did it, he simply looked like he descended from the heavens. His curls always swayed with the wind and every step he took made them bounce in place. It was magical. What's also magical is that strip of skin that peeks out whenever Kiyoomi jumps to hit one of his tosses or when he takes flight when doing his freaky service ace that smashes at the other side's court.</p><p>No wait, no no no no no. Atsumu does not think that Kiyoomi's beautiful. Well ok he does. But no one knows that he does. Okay maybe Osamu, after that match with EJP, he pointed out that Atsumu was staring at Kiyoomi whenever he serves. And that they make eye contact longer that what's heterosexually acceptable. And the fact that they're both really really gay makes that case stronger. Okay and maybe Suna knows too because Osamu told him. Osamu tells him <em>everything. </em>Saps.</p><p> </p><p>And there was another problem, his current concern, it was 28 minutes into practice but there was still no sign of the spiker he's impersonating. Did he decide he didn't want to do this and bailed? That wasn't like Kiyoomi. It wasn't like him to back down from a challenge. Atsumu liked how easy it was to rile him up in a competition, and he even made sure to not half-ass anything he does, just like him.</p><p> </p><p>He notices that the others were probably wondering the same. But he just can't stop looking at the metal doors of the gym every after five seconds. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Where is he?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As if on cue, the metal doors open, bright morning light shine through, a tall figure stands there, a caramel macchiato in his hand. "G'mornin, sorry 'm late cap'n." </p><p> </p><p>Not a single soul moved. They all watched with their mouths ajar and eyes as wide as saucers as Sakusa Kiyoomi sipped on his coffee, high tailing his way to the locker room door. He opens the door, throws the other jackals a look, carding a hand through soft golden blonde beach wave curls. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." he winks at them. But Atsumu felt a chill crawl up his spine, it felt like Kiyoomi was looking directly at him, with honey golden contacts piercing through him. He looks away, he feels the tip of his ears burn. They hear the locker room door close with a click. </p><p> </p><p>"Did-did anyone else got a boner?" Hinata asks as he turned to them with wide eyes and a panicked expression. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>By the time that Kiyoomi joins the rest of the team on the court, they were about to run laps. He does his stretches in the corner and feels the glances and stares in his direction. He decides to play with  them for a bit. He raises his hands, stretching them over his head, letting his shirt ride up the front. He purposely chose the shorts he's wearing now, they hang loosely on his hips, revealing the Calvin Klein band of his boxers. He knew Atsumu is the brand ambassador for CK and he wanted to use that. His Jersey is slightly loose on him, he slides his hand under his shirt and scratches his stomach, the shirt rides up in the movement. Pale white skin peek from under the fabric of his jersey, toned abs is on display, obliques meet the transversus abdominis muscles. He adjusts his shorts, pulling them up, covering his sex lines but they fall lax on his hips. </p><p> </p><p>A series of coughing fill the gym. Atsumu has one of his hands covering his mouth with a towel while the other has his water bottle in hold. His face is set ablaze. Barnes approaches him in attempt to pat him on the back but steps back  when he gets a glare from the Kiyoomi impersonator.</p><p> </p><p>Real Kiyoomi jogs towards him, smirking. "Are ya good Omi-omi?" The Kansai ben was on point. Being around Atsumu had him get a hang of the accent easily. He gets a death glare from Atsumu. He looks at him for a little longer, taking in the details of his look today. His hairy is as deep as the night sky his curls were all facing one direction. Just the way Kiyoomi did his everyday. His eyes didn't look as cold as his did, they still held warmth in them and sparkled nonetheless, very Atsumu like. He notices the eyeliner drawn moles on Atsumu's forehead, then he sees another mole, just above Atsumu's collarbone. The biggest thing though, the jersey. Seeing Atsumu wear his name like that makes his insides do summersaults, his mind is about to melt. Sakusa Atsumu. His eyes  He feels heat travel to his face, reaching all the way to the tip of his ears. Atsumu really paid attention to the details. Looking at him like this, he's absolutely stunning. </p><p> </p><p>The whistle blows, they go back to reality. Coach Foster splits them into two teams:</p><p> </p><p>Hinata (plays as Inunaki)</p><p>Bokuto (plays as Meian)</p><p>Meian (plays as Hinata)</p><p>Barnes (plays as Koutaro)</p><p> </p><p>and on the second team:</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu (plays as Kiyoomi)</p><p>Kiyoomi (plays as Atsumu)</p><p>Inunaki (plays as Thomas)</p><p>Thomas (plays as Barnes)</p><p> </p><p>They prove to the cameras that they really are a team of monsters. Every Jackal is quick to adapt to their new positions. The production team and the MSBY staff watches them in awe. Even Coach Foster is astonished with how well his team is playing.</p><p> </p><p>"Left!" Atsumu calls out to Kiyoomi. The faux blonde positions himself under the ball, bending his knees and arches his back. The ball meets the tips of his fingers then leave just as quickly as he tosses it to Atsumu's direction.</p><p> </p><p>The ball connects with Atsumu's palm. He slams it to the other side, penetrating the other team's block. </p><p> </p><p>The impact of the ball landing on the opposite side of the net echoed in the gym. Sakusa is quick to turn to meet Atsumu's bright eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Nice one, Miya." Atsumu clenches his fist in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wait holy shit-Miya. Me? I'm Miya, right? Okay. Okay, yeah I'm Miya Atsumu. Not Miya Kiyoomi- pfft tha-that's stupid.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Kiyoomi stands in place. It was his turn to serve. There were buzzed murmurings in the background, he takes a deep breath. His face darkens, he's in complete concentration mode. He raises his left hand then bringing it down to shoulder level in a tightly clenched fist. </p><p> </p><p>The whole place turns completely silent. </p><p> </p><p>He throws the ball in the air then takes four steps forward, he uses a jump floater. The ball hits the ground before Hinata could dive for it in time.</p><p> </p><p>Kiyoomi looks at Atsumu and throws him a sly smirk. </p><p> </p><p>Atsumu is about to combust right there and then. Fighting the urge to scream and run as far away as he could. Maybe move to a different country, Shoyo did say that Brazil was a nice place. Maybe he'll move there. Wake up to the beautiful ocean view, drink margaritas for breakfast, play volleyball on the sand, he heard the barbeque there is grea-</p><p> </p><p>He snaps back to reality when something slams on his head. Stumbling backwards, he falls on his ass. Bokuto runs towards him, going under the net, "I'm sorry, are you okayy Tsu-err-Omi-kun?"</p><p> </p><p>Sakusa squats in front of him, slightly above his eye level. "Omi-omi, did it hurt when you fell-"</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu was about to retort when Sakusa says, "for me." Then pulls Atsumu up and walks away.</p><p> </p><p>Hinata watches the whole exchange and mutters, "What the <em><strong>fuck</strong></em> is happening..."</p><p> </p><p>Thomas groans, ducking under the net, "You're giving him too much power."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The match is  now down to match point. Atsumu's team is one point away from owning this set. Kiyoomi and Atsumu's dynamic on court hasn't changed a bit. They are still the power duo on court even with their positions reversed. Kiyoomi would set to Atsumu that best suited him, leading them to get point after point. </p><p> </p><p>But there's a problem with this whole swap. Kiyoomi is a magnet. And Atsumu is made of ferromagnetic materials. Magnets are surrounded by an invisible magnetic field that is made by the movement of electrons, the subatomic particles that circle the nucleus of an atom. The hyperactivity of these electrons gives magnets their ability to attract and repel. Every interaction, every glance, all his tosses and "Omis", the pull gets stronger. Kiyoomi would wipe the sweat on his face with fabric of his jersey, Atsumu is standing behind him. he watches as the jersey reveals porcelain white skin and a view he'll never get tired of. Sagittally symmetrical indentations is visible on the lower back his currently blonde setter. He knows, he knows he needs to stay away but every step away just pulls him closer to Kiyoomi with much stronger force.</p><p> </p><p>Every inch of Kiyoomi screams sex appeal. He's a sex god that walks on the land of mortals.</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu wants to worship him.</p><p> </p><p>Kiyoomi's blonde curls and honey colored eyes did things to Atsumu. There's a constant voice in his head that commands him to pounce at Sakusa and kiss him right there and then, infront  of his team mates, their coach and staff, the show's production team, in front all the cameras. </p><p> </p><p>He can't. He knows he can't. Omi is his friend and team mate. And technically, he is Kiyoomi and Kiyoomi is dressed up as him and that's such a narcissistic move. </p><p> </p><p>Instead of thinking more about it, he tries to devote his all in this last point. It's Bokuto's turn to serve, he tosses the ball in the air and runs towards it, connecting his palm to the ball. It flies towards Inunaki, he receives it a little short sending it towards Thomas who covers for him, passing the ball to the setter by the net. For a split second, fiery hazel orbs meet his own, a silent conversation of a plan, an understanding shared only by the two of them. Atsumu nods, he understands.</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu runs and places himself in a spot that best suits the game as of the moment. He jumps and swings his arm. </p><p> </p><p>The world slows down, he could vividly see the other team's expressions. Kiyoomi jumps in front of the net and pushes the ball over the net with one hand. </p><p> </p><p>The whistle blows, it all ends with Kiyoomi's setter dump.</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu's sanity ends with it as well.</p><p> </p><p>"Did anyone else get their second boner for the day?"</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>//Bonus</p><p>~in call<br/>Osamu: Are ya sure about this?</p><p>Atsumu: ...y-yeah why wouldn't I be?</p><p>Osamu: Okay, if ya say so. Rin hurry! He's about to do it! </p><p>Rin comes in view with a bowl of popcorn in his hands: shit. He's really doing it?</p><p>Osamu: yeah- oh my god look, he's doing it</p><p>Atsumu: WOULD YA TWO SHUT YER TRAPS?! 'M TRYNA PAINT MY HAIR BLACK HERE!</p><p> </p><p>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>Ok, I'm sorry I lied. I want to post this already have the next part posted later. I'll be doing my school work before it piles up. Black haired Koutaro, Black haired Atsumu with black eyes, Blonde Kiyoomi with hazel eyes, LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE BLACK JACKALS SWAP ARF ARRF WOOF WOOOF AWOOOGA</p><p>Which swap did you like best?</p><p> </p><p>I now post my fic screams here, looking for mutuals who are just as obsessed as me  <a href="https://twitter.com/Aribsielle">Twitter</a></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alsooooo check out my other on going college Au! <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30122544/chapters/74199870">Dancing on Tabletops</a></p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If I begged for kudos and comments would any of yall give me sum</p></blockquote></div></div>
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